I don’t know if this post is going to make any sense but there’s too much that’s going on in my head that I need to let out of.
It’s been a whirlwind of emotions lately.
I’ve felt frustration. Confusion. Embarrassment. Dejection.
And gratitude.
Like how can one still feel gratitude when she's sooooo bogged down by what's happening around her?
I have no idea.
So what happened was, I’ve seen and learnt that not everyone preach what they say.
But my revelation within a short span of 2.5 months has more of shocking rather than it being inspiring.
And I finally understood what it meant by substance speaks volume.
No doubt there are certain traits of these people that I know I can learn from.
But mostly, I picked up what I didn’t want and that clarity hit me hard.
Also, in other news, I never once thought that I could be someone who is inspiring and positive.
I never thought that with a small word of encouragement nor a small simple hug could make a person’s day.
I was really surprised when i get compliments from people saying that they are rubbing off from my positive vibes and that it helped them feel better.
And friends commenting that my smiles and laughters were back again.
That the "Peggy" whom they know is back.
This sentence alone was enough to have my water works triggered in my eyes!
I remembered how low i felt that at one point, I thought I couldn't do life anymore.
Nothing seems possible and every single encounter or experience was shittier than the other.
Everything that was present to me in its best form got turned into negativity by me.
Yes, I allowed the noise inside my head to get bigger than me.
But with a shift in mindset and environment.
With that small initiative to want to improve myself, changes started happening.
I finally learnt that it is okay to have a happy childhood.
And that you are as young as you are today.
So it's only right that you create that childhood now.
Childhood.
Something precious that I thought I never had!
And I thank the community that I always plug into to get the energy that I needed to get through the day.
I know that when I needed that energy, I can borrow it and move on with the things I want to accomplish.
And that people around me will be encouraging me and cheering me on, rather than telling me that it's impossible.
For sure, there are many things that I want to achieve and most of them scares me.
And apparently being scared is good because that only mean that you are stepping out of your comfort zone.
So I don’t know how I'm going to do it.
All I know is I want to build on my belief and borrow the energy from the community to achieve what I’ve set out for myself.
As a person and as a business owner.
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